THOUGHTS

This morning my cellmate and I were discussing an old friend of ours named Bill. Bill was a career crook who had served most of his life in prison. He released a few years ago at 75 years old. I had seen Bill more recently than my cellmate. He was a healthy 75 years old. He had met and married a wonderful woman who strengtened him and encouraged him to change. Bill ran 5 miles nearly every day and did yoga in his cell each morning. He attended church and A.A. Bill was determined to make a life for himself beyond prison walls and spend his remaining years loving his wife.

My cellmate was astonished by the “change” I described in Bill. He remembered him from way back, when Bill always only talked about the scams and hustles he would commit upon release. “MUST HAVE BEEN THAT WOMAN,” he said. “THE RIGHT WOMAN CAN GIVE LIFE TO A MAN.”

“The right woman can give life to a man”. Those words hit me like a Montana thunderstorm. I knew them to be true, of course. Those simple words instantly brought me back 21 years, to images of my son’s mothers, to other relationships, to mistakes made and love lost. I have yearned for the right connection for years, even attempted a few pen pal sites—but the right woman for me is still out there. I havent met her yet, but I told my youngest son (21 y.o. Jacob who is currently in the army–and I am so proud!) that if I was free and I saw the same woman at both the library and the church I attend, then I would find my wife….

When I am not studying or writing, I like history, Historical Fiction (movies and books), love everything adventurous and related to the outdoors, prefer simple and quiet over complex and loud. I drink coffee strong and black, eat my steaks (though it has been a few years) medium. You can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she takes their coffee and steak. 🙂

The truth is that I am torn about bringing a woman into this life with me. On the other hand, if she is strong enough, and if she can relate to a healthy 41-year-old convict-Theologian who has between 8 and 34 years left to serve…well, I’ll consider it a match made in literal heaven.

And in the effort of full disclosure…while I may be a Doctor, I do not have the resources of a Doctor. I rely on family, friends, and the occasional supporter, to keep this blog afloat, to supply me with books for my research, to pay my phone bill, to provide Jpay stamps for emails, to make sure I have food packages and property packages….

The communication barriers and unavailability of technology imposed upon the incarcerated have thus far prevented me from gainful employment–though I love the work I do and will continue to do it for free until someone recognizes the value in it and affords me an employment opportunity.


***I am to understand that comments are being generated in regards to the material I am posting, some good, some “not so good,” some incredibly thoughtful–ALL INCREDIBLY VALUABLE on a social level. I am very excited about this. Whether you agree with me or not, you are reading, and thinking, and perhaps even asking yourself (and others) questions you might not have otherwise asked. I especially thank those who put in the time and effort to comment. Regrettably I do not get to read your comments for myself. Others read them, however, and the results of this is a continuing, thought-provoking dialogue, even if a little impersonal.

If you would like ME to read your comments, thoughts, considerations and sentiments, then you must write to me via Jpay.com (my DOC # is 782010) or contact me by direct mail. If you have questions about Theology, incarceration, self-repair, recovery–or if you simply find value in what we’re talking about here–please don’t hesitate to contact me personally.

Perhaps we can work together to emphasize the importance of talking about tough issues in civil way that focuses on solutions rather than on blame.

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